Lame Powergamers

We Can Be Gods!

MOJOPOWERGOD!: I AM MOJOPOWERGOD!! ALL KNEEL BEFORE ME AND BEG FOR MERCY. I OWN THIS SWAMP NOW. YOU KNOW I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU FOR I HAVE A CAPS LOCK AND WILL SHOUT EVERYTHING!! KNEEL!!!!

Dragonlord of Darkness: Ha! I need no caps lock to be more powerful than you, I own this swamp and I bet I'm older and stronger than you!

MPG!: I DON'T THINK SO I AM CENTURIES OLD, EVEN MILLENIA! I HAVE BEEN AROUND SINCE MAN WAS A MERE DREAM AND I COULD IN FACT LAY CLAIM TO THIS WHOLE PLANET! BEND TO MY SHOUTING POWER!!!

DoD: That's nothing! If you battle me you will lose, for I was created with this planet and all the others! I have power over the entire solar system! Now bow down or I shall smite you with something!

ArsenalMan: *comes in whirling sixty swords and a pair of sword-chucks in one hand and wave four machine guns and a bazooka in the other* Your ages do not matter because all my weapons are stronger than everyone and I'm fueled by an overflow of testosterone and raaage!!!! And angst too, very heavy on the angst. Now back off! I must go be sullen.

MPG!: HA! OLD AS A MERE SOLAR SYSTEM, I PITY YOU DESOLATE ONE. AND YOU MORTAL, YOUR WEAPONS CAN HAVE NO EFFECT ON ME FOR I HAVE SUPER MOJO ARMORED SKIN AND NOTHING CAN PIERCE IT OR EVEN GIVE ME A MILD ITCH. EVEN ATTEMPTS TO TAUNT ME ARE FUTILE! FOR I AM ETERNAL, AS OLD AS THE UNIVERSE AND GALAXIES, STRONGER THAN ALL GODS AND I LAY CLAIM TO THE UNIVERSE!!! YOU ALL BEND TO ME OR BE DESTROYED!!!!!!

MageGuy: *suddenly steps out of a glowing portal seemingly to another dimension just brimming with other-worldly power and fat-free goodness* Your powers are all weak! The bigger you are the harder you fall, and physical weapons can have no effect on MageGuy! I control all the elements of eternity so no matter your age or power Mojo the elements are all mine and I may use them to unravel everything, including you. Fear my magical powers!!

DoD: Oh yeah? *thunders to the skies and starts to show true power* Well I'm eternal... plus one! Yeah that's it! I predate reality itself. My energy was around before anything, and at any moment I can bend or destroy reality with nothing left but myself! I am lord of all dimensions and powers, including MageGuy's!!

AM: Enough of this! *runs first at MG, hacking and slashing at the mage, firing round after round as his blades and bullets whirl through the air in an incredibly powerful torrent* Feel. My. Pubescent. ANGST!!!!

MPG!: I SEE I HAVE TO PROVE MY POWER TO YOU FOOLISH LESSER CREATURES. BEHOLD THE ULTIMATE POWER TO... WRITE WORDS!!! *UNLEASHES UNFORGETTABLE HAVOC UPON THE COSMOS AND ATTACKS ALL THE OTHER WEAK LITTLE CHARACTERS REDUCING EVERYONE TO SMOLDERING ASHES WITH HIS ULTRA SUPER POWERS* MOJO WINS. FATALITY!

MG: *can't be beaten so easily and even as the puny human slashes at him he puts up a shield and protects himself with magic then rises up and uses all the elements to destroy everyone again including Mojo* I am victorious.

DoD: *phases out of reality just as the attacks begin then comes back into the real plane to use fire attack and burn the mage to a crisp* You lose!

AM: *waits for everything to be done behind his mega-electro-armor(TM, get yours today kids!) that can fend off any attack and uses his hidden Doomsday device to destroy everyone but him* Now my angst leaves me alone and I may be sullen again.

MPG!: OH NO YOU DON'T I ESCAPE AND NOW I WILL...

True Vores: *now in straight jackets and banging heads against padded walls and screaming* Please if there is a real God somewhere be merciful! End my torment now!